I'M A BIG LIAR

Mostly, I just lie to myself but I've been known to lie to my best friends too. What is the lie I tell? I say, "I WILL NOT BUY MORE FABRIC". I'm very serious and sincere when I say it. Why DO I say it? It's because over the years I have "stockpiled" fabric that I've yet to use and I feel guilty for doing that.

Oh, it's always exciting to re-discover fabric I'd forgotten about having and it's great to be able to go fabric shopping in my own home when I want to start a new project. In all honesty, I could probably make any sort of doll, purse, apron, cat, pillow, quilt, toy, tote bag, or holiday decoration known to womankind - and have enough fabric left to do it all again. Sadly, I finally realized that I do not "need" any more fabric.

Now....."need" is the operative word here. Most of us who love and collect fabric don't really need it at all. We WANT it. We LOVE it. We desire to OWN it. For some of us, fabric is a feast for the senses. We see it, feel it, touch it, and even smell it and some of us are addicted. There, I said the "A" word. I admit it. I'm addicted to fabric. I might be better off if I was A-llergic to it.

I'd like to blame my seventh grade home-ec teacher, Mrs. Wagner, for my addiction, since it was she who first INSISTED I buy fabric in order to make a project. She introduced me to a sewing machine and I was off and running. At first, I didn't care all that much about the process because Mrs. Wagner chose the first few projects we students made and looked over our shoulders all the time. Once I was able to choose patterns and sew on my own, I enjoyed fabric shopping AND sewing.

Some of the blame for my fabric addiction (and my over-the-moon love of cats) must be assigned to my dear departed Aunt Martha. It was she who first allowed me into that gated community called the sewing room. She always kept her sewing room door closed but I was allowed inside to run my hands over her fabric and my fingers through the buttons in her old tin. She said she kept her sewing room door closed in order to keep her big fluffy cat Felix out of it. I LOVED that cat and would "accidentally" let him in the sewing room almost every time I opened the door. I suspect Aunt Martha was secretly addicted to fabric and didn't want anybody to see her stash. Well, ok then - it's in the genes! Whew, now I feel better. It was apparently my destiny to love and collect fabric (and cats). Even though I've sworn off buying fabric (more times than I care to admit), I'm off to the fabric store today. Well, it's just down the road from the allergist and I'll be receiving allergy injections today, so while I'm out . . . . hey, it's not as if I'll be making a special trip.

I absolutely will not be buying any fabric for myself today. (I hope no one has a truth meter running.) While talking with my mom this morning, I learned she had run out of flannel with which to make the lap robes she donates to nursing home residents. She lives in another town and I can't always be there to take her shopping. Her driving reflexes are not the best these days and she really shouldn't be driving to the fabric store - all the more reason I NEED to go for her. There's that word again. I truly feel it's my duty as a daughter to keep Mom safe and off the streets, regardless of the personal sacrifice. Afterall, somebody has to do it.

Well, I don't care if I lied. Yes I do. I care about lying to my friends, but I don't care whether I need or just want to go fabric shopping. I'll care later, but right now my heart is racing and I NEED a fix!

(The fabrics in the photo are not mine. I thought they were a good representation of my stash though. I used the photo with permission from Kristin, of the "Sew, Mama, Sew!" blogsite: http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/?694)

Post Script - I went fabric shopping for my mom, found her some flannel and thread, but DID NOT buy one inch of fabric for myself. Now that took willpower!