CHAPTER 3 - THE AWAKENING

VIEWS FROM THE DECK OF OUR FUTURE HOME

Two Sundays ago I asked my spouse if we could take a car ride but didn't tell him what was on my mind. He instinctively headed toward the old house. On the way, we passed the house that slipped from our grasp last fall and as we talked about that I shed a few tears. When the old colonial was in vieiw, Spouse slowed the car and I hesitantly asked if he had given any second thoughts to buying that house. Previously we had all but scratched it off our list. A big grin formed on his face and he turned to me and said, "I want you to be happy. If that house makes you happy and you want it, we'll buy it". The tears began again and I told him I could think of no other house but that one. I admitted I wanted to live in the country IN that house. He pulled off the road and said we should "...have a little honesty here". I'd never been dishonest with him. I simply hadn't previously revealed the depth of my feelings about the house. I thought he had dismissed it from thought so I didn't tell him it was THE one. He had seemed extremely concerned that we move closer to his workplace and this house is only three miles closer. Spouse works an hour north of here and though I truly didn't want to live further away from our daughter and her family, I had always told him I would be open to the possibility, and I think I was. For weeks we looked through homes north of here but neither of us found a house in which we felt we could be happy.

As we pulled onto the road where the old house had set for nearly a century, my spouse said he could by happy anywhere I was happy and admitted he liked that house as well as any he had seen in the past few months. It was a revelation to him that I'd put my wishes aside because I thought he would be happier living closer to work. I finally realized he wasn't as concerned about living closer to work as he was about making me happy. After all the years we've been married we still have a lot to learn about communication. What if I hadn't admitted my feelings for the house? What if I hadn't told him that the minute I walked inside it I immediately felt I wanted to live there? Thank goodness I'll never have to know.