Tuesday, March 6, 2012

EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN

Doesn't life toss us around sometimes? Glenn and I are not completely finished with this "move" since we've not yet put the former residence up for sale, but life goes on and doesn't stop for us to catch up, even if we feel we need breaks. Interruptions abound and crises appear when we least expect them.

Last week and the week before, and come to think of it, many weeks before that, were hectic and full of emotional ups and downs. My mother recently fell in her home and needed hospitalization, after which, she was sent to a facility for physical therapy. During her stay, she suffered a stroke which necessitated another hospital stay. My sisters and I have known for quite some time that our mother needed to be in an assisted living environment but she fought us every inch of the way so we gave in to her and she stayed in her own home for as long as possible - and probably too long. Even though she is now extremely incapacitated, she still thinks she can live alone and drive a car. Oh the tricks our minds play on us! We had to make that painful decision we knew was looming. I researched and visited numerous senior living communities here in my neck of the woods. Since both of my sisters work outside their homes, it was more logical for our mother to move close to me. We didn't tell her what was about to occur since she's not able to comprehend what has happened to her or why she can't go home. My sister brought our mother (from two hours away) down here to be admitted to a lovely facility called the Lamplight Inn. Our mother has her own little "apartment" and will be helped with daily activities and personal care. She arrived last Friday and my sister made another trip down here on Sunday to bring some items from our mother's home, hoping those would make her feel more comfortable. Mom is very confused and thinks she's still in her home city. She's been telling people at Lamplight that THEY are the confused ones, but SHE knows where she is.
                                       
This has been and will continue to be a very trying situation for all of us. I've been going to see my mother every day and usually end up spending much more time than I'd expected. Things should eventually settle down a bit and I'll begin to make my visits shorter. I hope to visit about three times a week instead of every day, but I'll continue to do whatever is needed to help my mother adjust. I took her to the Lamplight church service on Sunday and Mom sang her heart out when some of the old songs were requested. Last night we played Bingo and I was relieved to see that she still recognized numbers and letters. That gave me hope she might bounce back a bit from the stroke. I'm not in denial though. I know she will never be able to live alone again and her memory will not be returning. If I can help her adjust to the new living arrangements and encourage her to do things for herself, even though some of the most common things now seem foreign to her, I will count those as successes.

7 comments:

Whimsey Creations said...

As long as she's reasonably happy you'll have done all you can. I can see something similar coming down the pike with my step-father and I dread it.

Rita said...

You're doing a good job. You are giving your mom the best that you can to meet her needs. So when you go through that door or leave the home know that and feel strong. It is draining to work with our elderly and it does not help to feel guilt for what is impossible. Love them and leave them in good care until you return again.

Robin at The Primitive Hutch said...

Oh Kady, such a hard decision to make ~ I feel your doing the right thing. Your mind I'm sure will be at peace knowing she is in a safe place. Prayers and thoughts going your way for you and your Mom. Be strong!
Prim Blessings
Robin

Blondie ~ Vintage Primitives said...

Kady
I know how difficult a time this is. You are surrounded by some pretty strong sisters here online - only as far away as a thought and prayer.
Blessings be multiplied to you and your hubs for the love and work you are endeavoring

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

I am glad to hear she is adjusting well and that it continues...we were going to do the same thing for my mom..but as you know she passed..but she was fighting being on her own..just the same as we will someday;)

Anonymous said...

kady,life is not easy and old age is the final battle I swear.. None of us want to see our parents in this situation. But love makes us make the hard decisions. If we did not care, it would not hurt. Blessings to you and Glen.... Sandi R

Merilyn said...

As difficult as it is to make such a decision Kady, I think you and your family have made this decision for all the right reasons. In her 'new home' she will have all the supervision and care that she needs - she will settle in time, into her new surroundings and as she does so will you also feel less guilty about it. It's not easy, the main thing is that she is safe and cared for, love has to make these decisions sometimes - take care Kady and I wish your Mum all the best!