Friday, June 1, 2012


As is often my experience, LIFE happens as I'm making other plans. Most recently my "other plans" included planting a few vegetables and flowers, excavating the moving boxes residing in the barn, readying our former home for sale, and making more efforts toward socializing the feral cats I've rescued. In the scheme of things, those are not at the top of the priority list when family needs emerge. 
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and/or planning. My mother has become progressively worse and now lives more in fantasy than reality. I know that's to be expected with Alzheimer's but she's become convinced my dad is still alive and has left her, taken her car, and driven to Florida with an old Army buddy. In her world, the government is now looking for him and insisting he be recruited into the Army again. 
Mom is also seeing cows and cats running through her room. Last week a huge steer was standing outside her door and someone was selling cats from a truck in the parking lot. This is her "reality" at the moment and it's become more difficult to distract her from those thoughts.Thank goodness for Alzheimer support group meetings! Earlier this week I was summoned to a conference for Mom and it was affirmed she had slipped another few notches on the reality chart. That was not a shock since I'd been listening to her ramble about my dad for a week or so. I was told she "prowls" at night and keeps setting off the door alarms, so many times in one night that she was taken to the memory care unit and walked until she grew tired and more ready for sleep. I also learned a dear sweet lady - Mom's very first friend at Lamplight - had passed after complications from surgery. Sleep well, Livey, you were an angel here on earth.
Two weeks ago, my father-in-law was taken to the hospital, then to an extended care facility and placed in Hospice care. He passed within a very short time but there was much phone calling and messaging among family members during that time and it was evident they would need a "soft place to land" here after he passed. So, last week, out-of-state relatives came to pay respects to my father-in-law and were present at  a graveside service as he was laid to rest. Everyone met back here after the service and visited during a lunch I'd prepared. Some family members headed back to Missouri and Kansas the next day, but others stayed here to clear out my father-in-law's house and prepare it for sale. What a huge help that was for Glenn and me. Yesterday, they began their long trip back to Colorado with their granddaughters (a three-year-old and a one-year-old) in tow. I imagine they are bone-tired and will be relieved to be home. 
This has been an emotionally charged few weeks but I'm hoping things will be a bit calmer now that my father-in-law is in his final resting place. Glenn's sister and her spouse have done so much to get his house ready to sell. They helped us tremendously. Glenn and I have been the only in-town relatives for years and we've always known the bulk of readying the house would fall to us. We never expected such an outpouring of help and we greatly appreciate everything that was done. Now we need to concentrate on finishing the preparation of our former home....and then on to do the same with my mother's house. Maybe I'll be able to make a little time to plant a few tomatoes and sunflowers. I can only hope. 


Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Oh Kady I am sorry to hear about your loss and that your mom is getting worse..this has got to be emotionally draining for you both..glad you had family to help with the estate..and I hope things settle down for you..when my grandma was in the care facility (back in 1981) they actually strapped her to her bed to keep her in it..not a great place when you think about it..have a great weekend.;)


Hi Kady--I am still praying for you and all your work and cares and for your mom.
Hang in there friend--
love you--Hugs, Di and miss gracie

Michelle said...

kady, I don't have your email, but I think your email has been I received an email from your "email" or blog post...and it was not a good i deleted it immediately...

Thank you,


Merilyn said...

After catching up with your recent posts - (I am way behind on my blog reading), indeed life does get in the way a bit too much doesn't it? - I would love to visit Mayberry too LOL!!!
Tidying up the affairs of family members is not an easy one, glad to hear you had help with your FIL's place. I hope you do get to spend some quiet moments for yourself and enjoy your garden, the companionship of your furry little mates in the near future, indeed the days do pass quickly...... Take care!!