Sunday, February 14, 2016

WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE?


 
I hope everyone is enjoying a quiet, restful Valentine's Day, surrounded by people and things you love. We're tucked inside this old house at Liberty Homestead with a fire going and hot mugs of cocoa and tea to keep us warm. I'm only venturing outside on this blustery winter day to take care of the cats. They're staying cozy inside their rooms in the barn and I have one more round of cat care to finish off the day. It's begun to snow again and though it's beautiful, I think I'd rather be inside looking at it from my family room window.   
 
For many moons, my spouse completely disregarded Valentine's Day, though I made efforts to provide him with romantic cards, his favorite chocolates, and flowers sent to his workplace from time to time. I even cooked special dinners and served them by candle light, but he never seemed to pick up on the fact that a bit of reciprocation might have been nice. After years of doing this, I finally decided to stop trying to make Valentine's Day something it was not. It simply wasn't special to him, and that sometimes caused me to feel as if I wasn't special to him. Oh yes, we talked about it, but he still never made any effort to celebrate the day, so I stopped mentioning it altogether.    
 
It took a lot of time and many disappointments, but I finally embraced the fact that he was not going to bring home flowers or romantic cards, or anything else for that matter. One day it occurred to me that I didn't have to be sad on Valentine's Day. My spouse did do things through the year that showed me he cared, and most recently, he finished the inside of my cabin, which was no small task. Still, I had longed for something - just a small token - and for him to acknowledge Valentine's Day. Instead of waiting for him to choose something, which apparently wasn't going to happen, I started doing a little of my own shopping - nothing extravagant, mind you - just a little something for my kitchen, or maybe a vintage cat planter, or a small stack of quarter-cut red print fabrics. I'm thrifty at heart, but buying something for myself lifted my spirit and allowed me to experience this day in time without resentment or disappointment.  
 
So . . . I became comfortable with Valentine's Day being "just another day" and I certainly didn't expect anything today, but guess what happened? My spouse bought me a darling card with a kitten and a heart on it, and chose three fragrant candles, which smell delicious. He left them here in front of the computer where he knew I'd find them. After all these years of marriage, I still can't predict what he will do. I appreciate the card and candles and feel happy to have received a real Valentine's gift today. More importantly, I feel happy to have his love every day, even if it's not always verbally expressed. 
 
Have a wonderful day and if your Valentine didn't do something special for you, do something special for yourself. Enjoy your day!   

3 comments:

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Now that is a uplifting and sensible attitude you have - I hope to find such acceptance in my heart, too, some day, as a wife who does not receive anything special on Valentine's Day, either. I like your workaround (getting yourself some little something to lift your spirits and mark the day), and I am happy that you received the candles and card! What a wonderful surprise! You sure have given your cat rescues a wonderful Valentine's gift, too - such caring for them, no matter the weather.

Kim said...

I enjoyed your post. Thank you for sharing. I shared a special V-Day post on my blog today as well. Stop by and have a read. And hug a kitty for me!

Merilyn said...

What a wonderful gesture, and many years in the making......very special indeed!!!!! I'm glad he finally surprised you.....
Your barn cats are very lucky to have the attention and love you give them.....!!!!