The move to this house and all that has transpired during and after it have sent me nearly over the edge at times. Some days I just want to resign from everything, but every now and again, I'm able to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I saw one of those glimmers this week. The staff at my mother's assisted care facility summoned me to a care conference and the information they presented was favorable. For now, Mom is stable in her struggle with Alzheimer's. She hasn't grown any worse since the last conference. In fact, she's become more social and is now better able to communicate her needs. I had feared she would become reclusive and do nothing but sleep her days away. She had been doing some of that recently and I gave up trying to motivate her to attend the activities offered. I can't be there every day, but I do want her to have quality of life. She would play games and attend movies and concerts if I went with her, and there have been times she wanted me to board the senior bus with her and go on the weekly country rides, but then I'd get absolutely nothing done here in my own home. If I didn't go, she'd refuse to participate and sit in her room alone doing nothing. That was her choice of course, but it's something about which I felt guilty. The Alzheimer's support group meetings have been helpful in allowing me to let go of that guilt and when I expressed my concerns to the Lamplight staff, they stepped up and began to urge Mom to participate in more activities. Immediately following the conference, I took Mom to the hospitality room where a rousing game of Bunco had begun. Neither Mom nor I had ever played the game but I was willing to try, and to my surprise, so was she. I think she actually had a good time. If nothing else, she was out among people and when the game ended, I was able to leave with a lighter heart. Of course, some things never change, and Mom is still "packing up" and expecting to go somewhere - this time it was Kentucky. On conference day, I found all the clothes from her dresser piled on her bed and about half the clothes from her closet were strewn about the room. These days, I'm very grateful for those small glimmers of light.
4 comments:
I didn't know what Bunco was untill my daughter called & asked me to come play this weekend ,
glad you had a refreshing time with your mom, I watched an Aunt go through Alzheimers with my uncle so I know a little of what you're going through, I've watched my dad hurt as his own dad no longer knew him,it's hard to go from child to parent, all we can do is pray & embrace each moment that we have,my prayer for you is strength & peace of mind
Helen
Helen, what a coincidence! I'd heard of Bunco but had never played. The only thing residents had a bit of trouble with was the swiftness with which the director wanted them to play. We were competing against two other tables. By the way, our table won! LOL Thank you for the kind thoughts. I totally agree with what you said.
I'm glad to hear that you were able to enjoy some fun stuff with your Mum! Having access to Family Support services/conferences is really important for your overall wellbeing, and yes it is about letting go 'some', I hope you are able to have more of these 'lighter' visits in the future!
Thank you, Merilyn. I don't know what I'd do without the Alzheimer's Support group and the kind listening ears of good friends. I also hope to have more of those lighter visits in the future and to be able to cope well with those that might not be so light.
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