DECISIONS, DECISIONS

These are the colors I have in the cabin. You can click on the picture to see details in the fabric. The little blue and red quilt is one my mother made for me when I was a little girl. I kept my baby doll wrapped in it. Mom once tried to give it to my nephew since he'd used it for his teddy bear when he spent the night at Grandma's house. I strongly urged her to make her grandson a blanket of his own since that one was MINE.

I have a problem. Actually I have MANY problems, but there's a particular one over which I'm obsessing. Obsession leads to indecision. Indecision leads to procrastination. Procrastination leads to feelings of inadequacy. Feelings of inadequacy lead to indecision. You get the idea.

What is this huge problem which has me going in circles? Are you ready for this? It's that I can't decide what decor I want to use in my cabin. I know, I know....it's not a big deal, right? Well, it is to me. Some days I'm sure I want my cabin to look like a quaint primitive shop filled with mellow colors, handwoven baskets, old quilts, blue canning jars, and other old stuff - arranged haphazardly, with no particular color scheme - the eclectic look.

On other days I think I want a calm, organized place in which to read, listen to music, or meditate. I want things to match and look as if I took some time and care to arrange them. I'd like to have a place for everything and have everything in its place. Am I crazy? Sometimes I think I am. Since I sewed cabin curtains which have the colors yellow/black/green in them, I'm having a difficult time combining those colors with the reds and blues already in there. So how am I to have anything match?

Today I spent an hour and a half at a JoAnn's store trying to find a folksy looking fabric that included the colors yellow, black, green, blue, and a bit of red. Those who sew and work with fabrics know how impossible that is - not to mention unreasonable. First of all, I don't NEED more fabric. Secondly, I've vowed to use what I have and NOT buy more fabric or more "stuff". Over the weekend I found, or maybe I should say, re-discovered a plastic tote full of fabric I'd completely forgotten about having, so I walked out of the fabric store empty-handed and exhausted, but I was happy to have kept that vow today.

Sometimes I feel too overwhelmed to decide what I want. I'm probably going to be the only one using the cabin, so I could start with one look and change it as the notion hits me. But that's a lot of work and the reason I'm changing the cabin interior a bit is so I can relax in there, and not have to work on it all the time.

Tonight I did what I always do when I'm indecisive. I called my good friend, Deanna. She has the best ideas and though we think alike in many ways, she has more of a creative brain than I do. When I hear her ideas, I can usually implement them, but I sometimes lack the brain power to come up with something on my own. I don't like admitting that, but it's true.

Deanna suggested if I felt I wanted things to match in the cabin, then I should strive for that. She said to do what makes me happiest. She added that I could make a small rag quilt or table runner for the cabin and use all the colors in it. That would pull everything together. Why didn't I think of that? Many times I revert to doing what I think others would expect of me, as if I'm going to be judged for my decisions. There are times when we ARE judged for the decisions we make, but this time, the only person I have to please is me.

I might actually combine two or more "looks" for the cabin. I do love vintage and primitive things but I also love when fabrics match or complement each other. I enjoy a bit of whimsy in a room too. Maybe I'll decorate my cabin in a "prim-sy" sort of way.