I've been pondering the whys of things, as in why do I keep finding myself with so many cats that need help? Why do so many of my neighbors not feel the slightest bit of responsibility toward the cats? This is their neighborhood too. There are a few who will put out food and provide some shelter. Some have even been generous in offering cat food to me so I can continue my mission but the majority don't seem to care. How can that be?
Why are my attempts at finding homes for my stray ones not yielding more positive results . . and why can I not turn away a cat in need, but so many others seem to be able to do so without blinking an eye or losing sleep? These are things I do not understand.
There's a very pregnant cat outside my door right now. I put out food every night and she anxiously consumes what I offer. She's a beautiful black and white kitty who delivered kittens under a neighbor's shed last fall. She had four kittens but only one survived for any length of time. That kitten still runs the neighborhood with her. People are aware of it and often tell me where the kitten is from time to time, as if I'm the cat police or something. I heard that someone made a few unsuccessful attempts to catch the kitten and its mama. Maybe the cat and her kitten migrated my way so they wouldn't be caught.
The pregnant cat looks as if she will deliver soon and it's not only still cold outside, but also raining. The sheltering carrier I leave behind the shrubs in my front yard is inhabited by a gray male cat each night and I don't know if the mama cat would accept a sleeping place if I provided another one. I doubt she'd be willing to deliver her kittens in an area male cats frequent.
My house is completely full of cats and kittens I'm attempting to help. There is no more room at the inn, so to speak. What would I do with the pregnant cat if I did catch her? I don't know anyone who would even consider taking her. Spouse is sensitive to the cats' needs and to my desire to help her, but he suggests I humanely trap her and take her to the animal shelter. I can't do that. The situation is breaking my heart.
I dearly love cats and newborn kittens. I enjoy watching them grow and learn. I also like socializing them so they become loving pets. The process is supposed to work like this - a cat is taken in and has her kittens. She is loved and cared for, her kittens are loved and held every day so they become comfortable with humans, the kittens learn to eat solid food and use a litter box, and all are eventually spayed or neutered then adopted by families who will provide forever homes. I've followed that process for many years, so why is it not working this time? What am I doing wrong?
I've never had so much trouble finding GOOD homes for kittens. I can't take in more until some of these are adopted. Out of the last five adoptions, three kittens have been returned to me and they're no longer little. They've grown! I have three feral kittens who are also growing but not responding well to my attempts at socialization. I've had all of them spayed or neutered though. I recently took in Dixie, the stray I tried to catch for over a year, and then there is Kelly, the kittens' mama, and my own who need attention but have to share my time.
I know I can't save every cat, but why was I "blessed" with this passion to help cats if I wasn't going to be able to truly make a difference in their lives? Just wondering.