Friday, January 28, 2011


A few days ago I posted about not feeling very motivated to do the things (I say) I love to do. I keep wondering if I'm fooling myself into thinking I have a passion for doing this or that. One passion I can definitely identify is my love for nurturing cats. There's no doubt about that, but when I tell myself I love sewing, I don't know if I really do. If I was truly passionate about sewing, wouldn't I want to work on projects more often than I do?

Do our passions come and go? Maybe they do. When my daughter was in elementary school I would sometimes sew all day long, stopping only for lunch and bathroom breaks. I'd come out of my sewing sanctuary when I heard the school bus arrive at 3pm. These days, I'm lucky if I get around to working on a project for a few minutes and I can't fathom spending a whole day sewing. On those days I do feel the urge to create, there are so many other things pulling at me that I spend more time fretting about those, than sewing.

Lately I've been searching for motivation and inspiration - partly out of necessity, since I have so many patterns and fabric stashes I need to use - but mostly out of a need to DO something productive. When I was raising my daughter, participating in craft shows, volunteering at church, and working with an animal adopotion agency (all at the same time), I knew who I was and what I needed to do. When I became a grandmother and watched my grandkids each day, I knew who I was and loved what I was doing. I had a purpose.

The grandkids no longer need caregivers and I recently left the church where I'd felt useful as a volunteer and I don't yet feel called to jump into volunteer work at the church I presently attend. I stopped working at the animal agency since I have a large menagerie of my own to tend. Sewing and crafting have pretty much gone by the wayside since I participate in very few shows now. Some days I feel as if I have no purpose, other than to make sure we always have clean clothes, nutritious meals, and healthy, happy cats. I guess those are "purposes", but they don't seem to be enough for me.

Some of you left comments telling me you felt the same as I did. So how do we get out of these ruts? Some things seems clear. We want to feel needed, but not be servants to our homes and families. We need creative outlets, but don't want to feel pressured to make things if we're not in the moods to do so. Some women create in order to pay bills and that can cause stress in our lives. Others sell their creations for the feelings of accomplishment that gives. There are many of us who want to be creative in order to give purpose to our lives.

I don't pretend to have any great answers, but one thing that helps me feel more creative is looking through a magazine called, "Where Women Create". Too often I think my sewing space (and home) should be spotless and organized before I can take time to sew. Besides being an impossibility for me, that is simply not a necessity. When I browse the pages of this magazine, I see all sorts of creative spaces. Some are very organized, but the crafting areas which inspire me most are the ones where supplies seem to be randomly scattered about the room. Some might be stacked on shelves, while others are stored in vintage jars or baskets. When I see that some of the women featured seem to be as organizationally-challenged as I am, it makes me feel more comfortable in my own life. Maybe those women don't feel at all disorganzied, just relaxed. The magazine is a bit pricey - $14.99 at JoAnn Fabrics - but sometimes a coupon discount is available.

I'm striving to accept myself, my home, and my crafting area as being unique to me, though they might be considered a bit disorganized by some peoples' standards. By setting myself free from someone else's idea of how I should live and create, maybe I'll be able to allow the door of creativity to open and inspiration will come in and visit awhile. I can only hope.


Keri said...

I'm standing right beside you Kady! I think I spend so much time cleaning up and taking care of my 20 kitties that my motivation for creativity has been zapped by the time I finish and get a minute to myself. Once I find the time to create, it takes the entire afternoon to find a project that I w-a-n-t to work on and then it's time to start dinner. There are plenty of unfinished projects or patterns waiting to be finished but doggone it I just don't wanna work on that specific one today. ;0) I guess that's where I've just got to decide to do something, lest I do nothing! :0) That magazine looks great. I seriously need to get my craft room in order...maybe a pretty room will inspire me.

Merilyn said...

What a great post Kady. I think we are under great pressure to be all, and do all, and so perfectly too!! Well life is just not like that, and I'm glad I don't live on a magazine page LOL!!! As soon as I get up my animals needs get met first, work day or day off. I work full-time, so to keep my sanity I try and spend quality time in my sewing room, which is organised chaos, but I like it that way! My motivation is to get through the day with as happy a heart as I can muster. Housework will always be there, and I won't be remembered for that, but what I made and gave to someone or passed on, that will be my legacy. Sometimes time spent just sitting and thinking is time well spent, and our situation now is all that there is really, we are not promised anymore than that.....

Kady said...

Keri, I know exactly what you mean. I do the exact things and woe to me if I leave the house for a bit. When I come home, I have to jump right into putting away groceries,fixing supper, or tending the animals. I need to find a way to better balance my time. I'll post something on that another day.

Merilyn, what an insightful comment. You're so right. The here-and-now is all we have. I tend to allow myself to be mired down with thoughts of all the things I'm not accomplishing. Some days I'd love to just do things I want to do and not deal with the others. Maybe I should try that.


Oh Kady--what can I say--you are thinking right up my alley so to speak--I have said that I am slowing down and taking Feb to rediscover myself--I no longer really know who I am!!! for 10 years now I have hide behind quilting and sewing every minute that I am not eating or sleeping or doing a "necessary chore"--what are my passions now--what did I used to enjoy doing--what made me feel good--what did I do for others that made them feel good--on and on the list goes!!!
I have gotten so caught up in the quilting blog world of the next bom, newest fabric line, newest quilt pattern--what ever---and they tell you to get out of your comfort zone and to try new colors and designs--but you know what--I do know that I like the old me colors and designs--so I am going back to that!!! for the month of
Feb I plan to use my other blog site-disworkbasket--to discover myself and all the world can follow along if they want or not!!!
I also plan to buy some notebooks to jot all my thoughts in categories done so I can see them and work on them--
so to make a long comment simple-- I join you on this quest!!!!
Hugs, and Love, Di

Linda ★ Parker's Paradise said...

I do find that my passions change.
I think my husband is lucky that I still like him!
I wonder what is next for me?

Keri said...

Leave the house? LOL, what's that? I think I need to get up earlier in the mornin'. ;0) I took this on and am committed to the end, but sometimes I need a vacation! Like you, I may feel inspired on a given day, but keep thinking that the refrigerator needs to be cleaned out or the floors need vaccuuming and yeah I should probably do that instead...then the guilt settles in. There is a battle going on in my head! LOL. But it's me fighting myself! ;0)

I just want to encourage you, that you're not alone. Now, what to DO about it if there is anything we CAN do, lol.