Tuesday, August 2, 2016

WAITING

I suppose this is an old song I sing - the waiting game. It's not about waiting in traffic or being frustrated while standing in line at the grocery store. It is about waiting until the life's road I travel is steady, smooth, and without bumps, before I do the things my mind says I want or need to do. Now, in my saner moments, I do understand how unrealistic it is to think my life should be completely free of challenges. Everyone has challenges and I'm not exempt. What I don't understand is why I think I must have a clear road ahead before I work on sewing projects or take on household tasks that will take some time. I have never fully mastered the art of making use of those snippets of time given to us throughout a day. If  I have 20 minutes between finishing cat care and fixing supper, I will most assuredly choose to play on the computer rather than sew a small project, clear the kitchen counter, or fold laundry. Sometimes I'm sure I have a skewed sense of time, since I often convince myself I cannot possible complete any single project in just a few minutes. That happens to not be factual, but it's still what I tell myself. I need to change that tape that plays in my head.  

My deepest desire is to have a full day once in awhile where I'm not responsible for anything and do not experience unwelcomed interruptions. I want to be able to do whatever projects I choose, without the need to break away for meal preparation, trips to the hardware store with my spouse, or house keeping chores. Is that asking too much? Apparently it is. I've yet to experience one of those days. I've come close, but those times I've had "free" days, something has always inserted itself into my personal time. Perhaps I'm the one who inserted it, but there it was. Whatever the reason, there always seems to be something that requires my attention when I attempt to "do my own thing".  So, what would be the solution? How will I ever succeed in securing the time I crave? A better question might be, how will I learn to more efficiently use the time I do have?

Life presents us with varied opportunities every single day. Today my spouse and a friend have gone to a county fair and I've had a bit of time to myself. I was asked to go along, but declined the invitation. What did I do with the free time this morning?  I chose to cook myself breakfast, pay some bills online, check email, visit Facebook, and work on my blog. Those were my choices, but now that I'm in the mood to work on crafting projects, it's nearly time for my spouse to return. To be clear, he does not attempt to prohibit me from sewing or crafting. I simply find it difficult to retreat to my sewing room when he is here. I was about to suggest that I don't know why, but the truth is, I do know. It's because I anticipate interruptions, and that feeling comes from experience. Perhaps I have to push through and do what I want to do, regardless of what's going on around me - within reason, that is. I won't ignore legitimate needs of my family members, friends, or pets, and I accept that there will always be some interruptions and bumps in the road. But it occurs to me I need to better budget my time and adjust to the detours along the way. As with a detour, once I return to the familiar road, I need to keep going until I reach my destination. If I can stitch a small pillow or ornament in ten minutes, I need to do that, if it's what I truly want to do. I resolve to work on that and strive to keep my waiting to a minimum. I don't want to run out of time.


2 comments:

Merilyn said...

The dilemma you talk about is very familiar to me LOL!!! As I still work full time, my days off have to be carefully planned down to the last 5 mins. You are right about wanting to have some uninterrupted free time to say, sew, or sort through the spare wardrobe, bathroom cabinet, but you need a day, or at least I do.....with so many other more pressing chores that need attention, I put that off.....so it never gets done, and it is frustrating.....I'm currently doing Barbara Brackman's latest BOM. A recent block took me three weeks to complete, when in reality it should only have taken a day. But I didn't have that 'day', so I had to make it in increments of 10mins, 20mins, or 30 mins while dinner was cooking or the washing machine was doing its cycle. It did get it done and I'm happy with it, but.....it took so long.....I will eventually get to the spare wardrobe and bathroom cabinet LOL! but I will need at least a day, as I'm not prepared to pull everything out and leave it on the floor and use 20mins increments to sort through stuff and only keep what I need.....life is like that, and I've come to the conclusion that today is as good as it gets....it is only as good as what we've already achieved, not what we want to achieve, because it hasn't happened yet.....and I have to settle for that.....difficult.....yes ....frustrating....yes.....how can I change it.....don't know!!!! I just try and fit in to the spare moments what I can and muddle through.....I guess its also about surrendering a little, some of those expectations we put on ourselves.....we can be our own worst task-masters.....I'm slowly learning to surrender a little....because this is as good as it gets at this particular moment.....Always enjoy your blog Kady, thought provoking, interesting, I now have a choice to either do some kitchen work or take the dogs for a walk before I get ready to go to work, .....I'm going to take the dogs for a walk.....the food prep in the kitchen can wait.......take it easy!!!!

Kady said...

I do love reading your comments, Merilyn. It's good to know I'm not alone in how I feel about fleeting time. We are kindred spirits there. I suppose the most important things are that we're doing what we want to be doing, and that even if it takes us a few weeks, we do eventually finish some projects. What I(think)I've learned through all my pondering,is that life is always going to offer some bumps in the road, but also some opportunities. Those opportunities, whether they be days off from working outside the home, or little snippets of time, are all precious and we need to use them well. Walking dogs, caring for cats, sewing, quilting, cooking nourishing meals, spending time rocking on the front porch - those are all valuable things to do. However you use your time, enjoy it! Hugs...